nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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