I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
