you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
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I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
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No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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