So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
