i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
