i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
