oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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