Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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