last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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