Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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