is your mom at the bar?
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
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