New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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