why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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