At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
