LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
