Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
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I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
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Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
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