remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
