Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Randomize
