I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
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I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
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I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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