god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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