accomplished twins. life is a go
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
