3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
