Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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