I wannas sexs uuuuu
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
