I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
