bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Hello my rib-scented angel!
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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