its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
