I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
