And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Randomize
