Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize
