It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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