My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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