I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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