Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I enjoy the company of your penis
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
