I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
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