Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
