I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
