I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
He felt like a one man threesome
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
