So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
