u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
