Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
