Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
The adults are the big ones right?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
