Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I'd cum for enchiladas.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
