So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
