A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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