Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were trust falling into bushes
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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