That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
