swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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