the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize