how do flat chested girls get laid?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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