I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize