i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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