At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
