Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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