dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
