dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Holy shit dude........stairs
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
