How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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