Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
