u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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