If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
