when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
