the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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